A few weekends ago now I ran farther than I have ever run before and yet went no where at all. The days leading up to the race I questioned why I had signed up for it anyway, disliking the thought of running and the compulsion to do so. On the eve of the run, Kristin told me that she was proud of me for doing something challenging like this. It was sweet and yet it seemed to highlight in my mind how shallow and hollow I thought running a race like this really is. Its not like I was going out and doing something important or essential. I wouldn’t sign up next year, I thought, and would get back to just running and doing so joyfully.
The morning of the race, I awoke in the flat light of early dawn, making myself a cup of coffee and a couple of friend eggs. Birds were just waking up and the sun just cresting the ridge, when I left for Mazama where I would pick up a shuttle for the trail head where the race would begin. It was a cold morning and got all the more so as we climbed into the mountains. Rainy Pass trail head sits at over 4,000 feet and we all had to flap our arms and jump up and down in order to stay warm. Still my teeth chattered unbelievably.
The race began just in time before I froze in place and we were off mostly running single file on the Pacific Crest Trail heading northward. Up through mixed conifer trees for several miles, over small streams and into the burgeoning day. I started off slowly, not wanting to overexert myself early as I knew we had a 5 mile climb to the top of Cutthroat Pass at 6,800 feet or so. I soon picked up my pace and began passing runners when there was room enough to do so. As the day progressed, so too did my pace and as I crested the top, with its spectacular alpine vistas of snow-capped peaks, I felt exhilarated and strong. I hit the top and flew down the other side, which would be 7 miles of downhill running to the trailhead.
I ended up running faster than I thought I would or knew I could and was encouraged and uplifted by the other runners. Many were complimentary and encouraging as I passed on by and the comradery and community building aspect of the event were my favorite parts.
Ask me if I would do it again next year: before the race I would have said no but now days after the event and I think I would. One thing I learned about myself is that I don’t need the carrot of competition in order to run and I am not sure that I feel compelled to challenge myself in this way. I enjoy running for the simple act of running, especially through beautiful landscapes. For now that is enough and I am happy to be back to either running or not depending on the needs and vagaries of my day.